I'd Lie
by roxylover330
Summary: NAITLIN! A story about Caitlin's hidden feelings for Nate and trying to deny them to everyone. A game of 21 questions bring her and Nate closer, but sometimes words hurt, even if you don't know the truth behind those words. Reviews/criticism appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Camp Rock or any of the characters...blah blah blah.  
**A/N:** It's a one-shot for now, if anyone wants it to be longer, let me know. Kind of drabbles, but it's based on Caitlin's thoughts about Nate. I got the inspiration for it from Taylor Swift's song 'I'd Lie' .. if you haven't heard it, listen to it on youtube or something, because it's one of my favorites by her. There's a lot of references to the song throughout, so I'll post the lyrics in my profile if you want to look at them too! And now, enjoy the story!

**I'd Lie**

It's near impossible being just friends with the boy – make that man – of your dreams, especially when you're around him non-stop and have to see your best friend acting all lovey-dovey with his best friend, but that's exactly what I do every day. And I'm excellent at pretending that I have no feelings at all toward him. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Caitlin Gellar, and my best friend is Mitchie Torres, even though we only met a year ago.

Oh, by the way, her boyfriend is _the_ Shane Gray from Connect 3, and we're kind of on tour with them right now for the summer by invitation of the band. Well, Mitchie was invited, I kind of just came with the package to make sure she could go. I don't really mind it, though, even if the PDA on this bus can get ridiculous sometimes and drive me insane. And that man of my dreams I talked about before? Yeah, that would be Shane's band mate Nate. But we're only friends. He tells me about his night and all the girls he likes and I just act like nothing he says phases me, but honestly? It's so hard to act sometimes.

Mitchie tells me I should win an Oscar for my performance, but I try to convince her that I have no feelings for him at all. I know I fail miserably sometimes, but I think she's just tired of asking. She tells me she sees through the façade..how I light up when we talk, how I bite my lip when he says something funny…how I apparently stare into his eyes when I talk. That last one I deny most of all..I mean, you're supposed to make eye contact when you talk to someone, it's only polite..right?

Anyway, all of this just leads up to the events of today. Nate was looking bored on the bus and I was only listening to a mix of all his favorite songs on my iPod..might as well talk to him. (Oh, and it's Shane's fault I have those songs..he downloaded them on my iPod, it just happens we have similar tastes in music. I don't like Nate, I promise!) I figured I'd be nice and talk..after all, we were friends, right? Plus, Jason was off researching birdhouses or something and Shane and Mitchie…well, I'd rather not know what they were up to.

"Hey Nate, penny for your thoughts?"

"What? Oh, um, nothing really. Just bored I guess…" he paused and got that look in his eyes like he just got this great idea "…hey, I've got an idea.." Told you. "Let's play 21 questions. It'll pass the time faster." He shrugged and sent me that shy smile that any girl would melt for.

"Umm, sure!" I blurted probably too enthusiastically for my own good, oh well, he didn't notice. "Why don't you start?" I said that part coolly, trying to redeem my earlier enthusiasm.

"Alright, but I'll let you know now..I always play that we BOTH have to answer the question, so don't think you're getting away easy, Gellar."

"Ha! In your dreams, Fro-Boy! So…first question?"

"Alright, I'll start easy on ya…Favorite color?"

"Easy, red. Your turn." I didn't need the answer.._Green,_ I thought, before he answered

"Green." Told you.

"Umm..What's your favorite quality about yourself?"

"Oh, um…sheesh Cait, pick something easier next time? I actually have to think about this one! But um, I guess I have a really good read on people. Like I can see who they really are without talking to them too much..it's kind of helped us along the way I guess.."

_Everything but my heart…_Okay, conscience..can we get back to the story, and stop butting in!

"Interesting…umm, I guess my answer is that I'm a good listener…Boring, I know.."

"No, um, it's pretty interesting, I mean…that's a good thing. Not many people are..they say they are but they kind of suck at it. Like Shane..he says he's a great listener, but then all he'll do is talk about himself when he's 'listening' to what you're saying…" I had to laugh at this one, it was completely true..I've been victim of Shane's listening skills myself in the past.

The game went on and on like this for the next 18 questions, back and forth with basic facts that we didn't really know about each other, like birthdays, favorite holidays, favorite food…yeah, you get the picture.

"So..last question. Hm, it has to be a good one…" He thought hard about this, I could just tell by the way he looked..so intense, but still kind of vulnerable..the way his eyes always look. "Um, this might be awkward…Do you like anyone Caitlin?"

What are you supposed to say to that question, especially when the boy you're basically in love with asks it to you? No one in particular..just the curly headed kid in front of me…because _that _would fly so well with him.

"Um, I guess. Kind of. I'm not really sure…you?"

"Yeah, actually..I kind of do…." He answered, running his fingers through his hair subtley "…But I'm not sure if she likes me, so I don't want to say anything."

"Oh. Well, it's worth a shot at telling her…You never know what could happen." I said this so composed..maybe Mitchie's right that I should win an Oscar. It hurt to hear it though..I should have known better.

"Thanks for the advice, Caitlin. Hey, it's getting kind of late, I think I'm gonna go to bed. I'll um, see you in the morning.." He got up and started walking toward the back of the bus..I just watched him walk away. I wanted to scream how he's the one I like..he's the one I want. But I won't let anyone see me wish he was mine…especially him. So I laid down on the couch starting to cry. I heard footsteps coming lightly toward me and someone sitting down next to me..Mitchie. She put an arm around me and comforted me. She's known all along, I know she has.

"Cait, be honest…you love him, don't you?" Mitchie asked, concerned for how upset I was, after seeing how happy I was before talking to him. I had to lie, I couldn't admit it. I think it would hurt worse if I really admitted the truth.

"…No. I don't think I do, Mitch." She looked at me, and I could see in her eyes that she knew I was lying. That whole best friend instinct thing must actually be true. But, being the great friend she is, she handed me a tissue, smiled, and helped me up.

"Come on, Cait. Let's go to bed. You need to get some sleep. It'll be better in the morning, I promise."

I just wished I could believe her. I wanted to know who this girl was that Nate liked, and secretly I wondered if I could get away with murder. I scratched those thoughts right away though. If he was going to be happy with this girl, well, I guess I would just let him…


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer and A/N: **I still don't own Camp Rock. With that said...Can people please review and not just add my story to story alert? I'm flattered, really, but I also really appreciate criticism or praise so I know how I'm doing or what I can change.

And for the story itself...I kind of know how it's going to go from here because it's semi-autobiographical...therefore, the ending will determine what my own Nate decides to do...so if you want Nate and Caitlin to eventually get together, you better tell my Prince Charming to get moving and figure out his own emotions soon!

**Chapter 2**

I couldn't even tell you how long I spent tossing and turning in my tiny bus bunk before I gave up on sleep all together. Whoever decided to install little TV's in the bunks is my new hero. I guess I had the random infomercials entertaining me a little too loudly because I heard Mitchie wake up.

"Cait, what are you doing up? It's 7 in the morning.." I think she finally realized at this point by the look on her face "…you didn't go to sleep, did you? Cait, come on you need to!"

"I got an hour or so. I woke up. I can't sleep, Mitchie. I mean, you saw me last night. I never tell anyone my feelings…you know that. But you saw me. I was vulnerable...he makes me vulnerable, Mitch!" I started crying again. Oh boy, turn on the waterworks why don't we? I'm Caitlin Gellar, I don't let people see me want someone or see me cry or…UGH! I hate this best friend thing right now.

Mitchie came into my already cramped bunk and laid next to me trying to comfort me. "It's okay, Cait. Do you want Shane and I to find out who the mystery girl is?" I shuddered at the thought.

"NO! You can't get Shane involved. He'll tell Nate and then Nate'll know and he can't know, Mitch. I can't deal with the rejection. I like him too much." I said the last part in a whisper; the tears were subsiding, finally.

"Okay, I promise, Cait. I won't get Shane involved. But what if he already is?" She was skeptical about my answer, like she knew something I didn't…like Shane knew something I didn't.

"What do you mean, already involved? What do you two know that you're hiding from me?" She averted her eyes and spoke in a hurry.

"Well, what do you know? 9:30! The boys are probably up by now, let's go get some breakfast before they eat everything!" She all but carried me to the front of the bus, and low and behold, all the boys were already sitting around the makeshift kitchen table, bowls of cereal in front of them, two extra waiting for Mitchie and I.

My eyes immediately fell to him…I didn't mean to look that way, I swear! It just kind of happens with him. He has this, like, magnetic affect on me. I don't understand it, but that's another story all together.

His normally perfect curly hair was messed up from sleeping, and he was wearing an old t-shirt and some sweatpants with his Simpsons slippers…I think he looked more handsome to me right now than he ever did all dressed up on stage. At one point while I was staring at him, I noticed him look up at me. I wasn't sure where Mitchie had disappeared to…oh wait, she was next to Shane already…surprise, surprise everyone. (It's my story, I'm allowed to be a cynic or sarcastic if I want to. So ha!) And the only seat open was…yep, you guessed it, next to Nate.

"Morning, Cait. Take a seat." He patted the chair next to me and smiled at me with that shy, crooked smile that makes me smile everytime. I convinced myself that I smiled because I was a friendly person. Finally, after a quick deliberation in my mind, I sat down. I mean, friends can sit next to each other, right? We ate in relative silence, aside from the occasional laughter at whatever cartoon was on TV at the time. You can tell I didn't pay too much attention, can't you? Well, everyone else did too when they realized I was only moving my Cheerio's around in my bowl and not eating any.

"Hey, um, Cait? Um, are you okay?" Shane was clearly nervous of any backlash from his question. I guess I might have snapped on him at one point during the tour… apparently the egotist reconsidered when he met Mitchie. It's not my fault he can't take sarcasm anymore.

"I'm absolutely fine, Shane. I'm just um, I'm not really hungry. I'm going to go back to our bunks for a little bit. Maybe get ready for the day or um, call my mom or something." I sat up from the table and went to put my bowl in our tiny sink, cleaning it with soap and water, drying it, and then putting it away. I never even noticed when Jason came up beside me to do the same.

Jason was always the clueless one, sure, but no one gives him enough credit. He gives great advise, and he's a fairly good listener…even if I'm convinced that the latter is only because he's kind of flighty at times.

"Cait...I'm always here if you need someone to talk to…you know that, right?"

"I know, Jase. Thanks..." I thought for a moment. Maybe someone other than Mitchie's take on the situation might be helpful. And I could always say everything was hypothetical…he would never really know the difference. And I needed a second opinion…someone that could help me convince myself I guess. Maybe even someone who can help me get over Nate if I need to…which I definitely should do.

"Actually, Jase. On second though…I'll take you up on your offer. I could use a friend to talk to…but I don't really want everyone to hear. Can we go back to Mitchie and my room?"

"Absolutely, Cait. I'm always here for you…" At that, we walked back to my room. Shane and Mitchie looked at me like they knew something…that had been a pattern since this morning with Mitchie. And Nate…Nate almost looked…hurt? No, it can't be. Maybe he had something in his eye. Or was frustrated. Or came up with an idea for a new song…yeah, that was it…a new song. But anyway, Jason and I went to the back of the bus, and I unleashed everything on him…the hypothetical thing went out the window once we were alone.

"Jason…I think, no, I know…I like Nate…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer/Author's Note: **It gets repetitive to say I don't own Camp Rock over and over. But I don't. Sorry I haven't updated in a few days..I went to the Jonas Brothers' concert Friday (it was FANTASTIC! I fell in love with them all over again) and Breaking Dawn (from the Twilight series) came out yesterday, so I've been doing nothing but reading that :)

As for the story, I don't know where it's going at this point. My Knight in Shining Armor ended up being a Loser in Aluminum Foil (it's a cliche saying, but oh well...it's completely true at this point!) I still want Caitlin and Nate to get together in the end...Caitlin deserves it. And I definitely want their relationship to grow throughout the story..I just need ideas on how they'll get together and all those fun details. Any ideas are seriously welcome, just leave them in a review or PM me with them :) I appreciate all the incredible reviews I've gotten for this story and THANK YOU to everyone that added me to a story alert, I appreciate it a lot, it means I'm doing something right! Okay, sorry for the long notes...now it's time for the story!

**Chapter 3**

Jason kind of stared at me for a little while, mouth gaping open. I would be lying if I said I wasn't completely uncomfortable. I mean, I had just told him my secret and he wouldn't even say anything! After what seemed like FOREVER he decided to grace me with words, rather than letting the bugs just continue to fly in his mouth.

"I kind of knew that, Cait. You're an open book to everyone but Nate it seems. He's kind of clueless about it, I can tell. It's like he's too thick headed to really grasp his mind around it. I should tell him…or you can tell him. But he should know…it'll help you both in the long run…"

"Jason…you can't. I'm so serious about that. He can't know… he told me he likes this girl and I told him to tell her. If he finds out I like him, he's going to feel bad or...something. If he's going to be happy with whoever this bimb—girl is…I'm going to let him be happy." I decided there I really need to do better with my self-editing. I mean, saying mystery girl was a bimbo to Mitchie was one thing…but Jason was kind of like Nate's brother. I was afraid it would offend him or something…even if he were probably too dense to understand that.

"I don't think you know the truth here, Cait. I'm serious. You should tell him if you don't want me to, or eventually I will tell him. It's really hard to keep secrets for too long on a bus like this, especially when you're as close to the person as I am to Nate. I'm guessing Mitchie already knows or has a feeling, which mean Shane does too. It's going to get out eventually."

"I need time." My voice came out as a little more than a whisper, I was beginning to break again. "A week or two, maybe. How much do you think Shane knows from Mitchie."

"You know as well as I do, they don't keep secrets from each other. I 'll bet he knows everything that she does, maybe a few things less. That girl code thing that you two have might help you a little here to buy some time though if you need it." I couldn't help but giggle at the mention of a 'girl code thing'. Sometimes boys were so clueless, and Jason was definitely not an exception to that.

I was surprised though at how well he seemed to read everyone…how helpful he was being with all of this. Some of the things he said were…dare I say it…insightful. I was a little fuzzy at points though…it would help us in the long run? I don't know the truth here? What was Jason talking about? I wanted to press my luck…see if he would tell me anything about more abut Nate or about what he said, but at the same time, I was a little afraid to. He had told me a lot, enough to ignite some kind of false hope…I didn't want him to think I was just prying or didn't appreciate him talking to me. In the end, I figured I'd suck it up and ask him.

"Jase, when you said I don't know the whole truth…what did you mean by that?" He looked stunned and at a loss for words…I could definitely tell he was trying so hard not to tell me some secret…like he had to formulate a response. It made me upset. "…you don't need to tell me if you don't want, I just was wondering if maybe…if I ever had a chance…"

I felt bad pulling the sympathy card here, but I smiled shyly a little at the end. Inside, I was feeling this immense array of emotions. Anger, fear, trepidation, hope, joy, happiness…but in this array the most passionate of these emotions was disappointment. The look on Jason's face told me everything I thought I had to know.

"It's not that Cait. If I could tell you, I would…as your friend. But, Nate's like my brother. He trusted me with something…and I can't break his trust like that. It's not who I am. I know I come off as flighty and out there...and most people don't really like me for that. Nate and Shane stick by me even when I seem more like 9 than 19. I can't do that to him…I'm so sorry Cait. Just…don't look at it as a bad truth…it's kind of…not bad truth." It was such a Jason thing to say that I couldn't help but laugh and smile. He had made me feel better.

"I understand. Thanks, Jason. You're a great friend…you don't get enough credit." I gave him a hug, and I heard him mumble 'anytime' before he let me free. I got up and went back into the main room.

Mitchie and Shane were cuddling on the couch (I still couldn't get used to the constant lovey-dovey behavior) watching some chick flick that Shane would never watch if he had the choice. The breakfast table had since been put away and Nate sat in the booth softly strumming his favorite guitar, composition paper on the seat next to him. Every now and then he would stop strumming and write down progressions of chords—no doubt working on Connect 3's next big hit. I stood unnoticed to the people in the room for a few moments, before a wave of bravery hit and I decided to go talk to Nate. I plopped down on the seat next to him, startling him a little from his concentration as he looked over at me and smiled a little.

"So, is this the next Play My Music?" I playfully joked.

"Nah, something a little more personal, I think. I'm not sure if I'll have the band record it yet…" He was still smiling at me…I was a little taken aback at it. Why did he have to play with my emotions like this? It was seriously getting old fast for him to toy with him like this…but I kept willingly letting him.

"Hm, can I hear it sometime?"

"You'll hear it sooner than you think..." he said, barely audible and mumbling. Still, I heard him.

"What?"

"Oh. Um, yeah, once I'm done, you'll be the first to hear it." Now it was my turn to smile. I looked away trying to hide the pointless blush that was quickly forming in my cheeks. I wished I could get Mitchie's attention to get me to stop, but she was oblivious to anything except Shane. Greaat.

I couldn't help but be a little jealous of Mitchie and Shane as I saw them sitting there. I wanted that. I wanted to be so completely oblivious to the outside world and have Nate be the only person I see…me the only person he sees. I was afraid that would never happen though…upset, mostly when it came down to it really.

Even with all of those feelings, I couldn't help thinking about what Jason had said to me earlier…_you should tell him, it'll help you both in the long run. _What could he possibly know that I didn't, and where WAS he right now? I scanned the bus for him and finally spotted him in his bunk…I think he was sleeping, but he could have been spying for all I knew.

It made me uneasy, but Jason had never lied to me and I believed he wouldn't ever lie to me, even to protect me. His words had to have some hidden meaning, but why couldn't I figure them out? Should I just t_ell_ Nate, see what he said? I couldn't do that, could I? I made myself believe that telling him was the worst mistake I could make because there was no way he could feel the same way about someone as average and…plain…as me. He was a rock star, he could have any beautiful girl he wanted. They all swooned for him anyway, but he never looked interested. I thought back again to what Jason told me.

Maybe there was no harm in telling him.._it'll help you both in the long run. _The words were haunting my every thought…I wondered exactly what Jason meant by them. Figuring out the meaning behind the words entailed only one thing, though. Either I had to tell Nate myself, or Jason would eventually do it for me. It was the only way to find out how it would help us in the long run. Silently, I made a decision that could possibly change the way I viewed Nate, and the way he viewed me. I looked over at Nate, playing his guitar again…he looked like he was close to done with the song. I took a deep breath and mustered all the courage I could. I released the breath, looking straight at Nate, and finally spoke.

"Hey Nate, can we talk?"


	4. Chapter 4

This might be a little confusing. The first part of this chapter is from Caitlin's point of view, the second in Nate's. I'll try to identify where Nate's part starts…and all of Chapter 5 will be in his point of view, also.

With that said…a BIG thanks to everyone who's reviewed already, I appreciate your comments...they help me write! On that note, however…the amount of Favorite Story/Story Alerts I've gotten far outnumber reviews, and, while I really appreciate ANY support I'm getting, I would really REALLY appreciate more reviews! With that said, I'm going to ask for something a little selfish here:** I won't post Chapter 5 until I have at least 5 reviews for chapter 4!**

**Chapter 4**

…_I took a deep breath and mustered all the courage I could. I released the breath, looking straight at Nate, and finally spoke._

_"Hey Nate, can we talk?"_

In the ten seconds or so it took him to look up, register what I said, and eventually say okay, I felt hyper-aware of everything around me. I could see three distinct heads shoot in my direction waiting for his answer almost as anxiously as I was. I felt my heart pound harder than I think it ever had in my chest and, through some strange miracle, my brain forcing my legs to stand, and the steady left-right rhythm as my feet made their way towards Mitchie and my room.

After what felt like hours, I finally got there, turned around, Nate behind me, and reached around his body to close the door. I sat down on my bed India style and motioned for Nate to sit across from me. Thousands of thoughts raced through my brain and for a moment I couldn't remember how to speak. Nate shook me from these thoughts finally.

"What did you need to talk about, Caitlin? Is everything alright, should I be worried?" Somehow, those words gave me this odd hope and reassurance to go on. It was like he honestly cared about me, like he was nervous that I was hurt, that something was wrong with me.

"No, Nate. It's nothing like that…I promise. It's, um, well…you know how I talked to Jason before?" I said all of this looking down, not even looking up at his reaction...I didn't think I would be able to get everything I had to out if I had to look at him.

He laughed. "Everyone noticed you two go into a room together. But yes…go on."

"Well…um…I wanted his advice about something. And with that something…he told me it was important to say it myself otherwise eventually someone else would. And I'm babbling now I know…" _Spit it out already, Caitlin, _my conscience was echoing through my monologue. "…Anyway, um, Nate…this may come as a surprise to you I'm really not sure…and I don't want things to be weird or awkward or whatever on the bus and I know you like someone else and I don't want to mess that up for you, I just need to let you know…Nate, I like you." See, that wasn't too hard. Aside from that I could have said it in four words, instead of a paragraph.

Finally, noticing the silence I looked up. Nate's face was close to an exact replica of what Jason's face looked like before…pure shock. I could see his lips moving, like he was trying to form words but didn't quite know what to say. Great, I knew this was going to be trouble. Finally, after a few minutes when he did speak, the words felt like a tidal wave hitting my ears.

"I um, I can't stay…I have to go." He got up carefully and ran out of the room. I felt hot tears forming in my eyes quickly and I was more than thankful I chose my room to talk to him in. I laid my head back and let it rest on my pillow, clutching the loose sheets that were around me, just to hold something. I let the tears escape without hesitation and blocked the outside world and all of my thoughts from my mind. Everything was black.

**NATE**

Caitlin had just told me everything I've been waiting to hear since that night we played 21 questions, and all I could do is sit there with my mouth open as thousands…no millions…of responses flooded through my head. Everything from a simple _I feel the same way _to a complete declaration of my feelings…you know, something encouraging…something that made her see that she was that girl I was talking about.

And all I could come out with was a "I can't stay…I have to go." I mean, what WAS that!? I all but ran out of the room, practically slamming the door behind me. Jason looked at me with confusion, Shane had a million questions ready to bombard me with…but oh, my _favorite _by far was Mitchie, who looked like she was ready to rip me apart limb by limb…I think we all know which she was going to be starting with. I waited for the shit show to start.

"HOW COULD YOU!? SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND! YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN SOMETHING NATE, YOU CAN'T BE THAT THICK! EVEN JASON KNEW! ARE YOU A COMPLETE IDIOT OR ARE YOU JUST PRETENDING TO BE ONE RIGHT NOW AND I'LL FIND CAITLIN IN THERE LAUGHING AND SMILING!?"

Yeah. I'll take "crawl under a rock and die" for a thousand...change that to a million. As she ran by me, slamming me as hard as she could into the nearest wall on her way to comfort Caitlin, I made my way over to Shane. Jason hopped off his bunk behind me and walked over with me.

"I don't know why I did it, guys. I just…I froze. I panicked. I couldn't tell her…I mean, I said _I had to go!_ How much more pathetic can I get?" I slumped back into the big armchair and held my head in between my hands, realizing how large of an idiot I actually was.

"It's okay, man. I mean, Mitch will talk to her, we'll work this out, we'll find some way for you to tell her…" Shane tried to comfort me, Jason chimed in.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I told her she should tell you…that it would be better for you both in the long run. I basically told her she had nothing to lose. But that was because I never thought you would respond like this!"

"Guys…when she told me she wanted to talk…I was writing a song for her. I was going to play it for her next week. I had it all set up. And then she told me…and I should have just gone out, grabbed my guitar and serenaded her like I wanted to. But now…she's never going to forgive me, is she?" I looked up; both Jason and Shane had doubtful looks on their faces. Shane was the first to talk.

"I think you'll be lucky if she ever talks to you again, let alone forgives you. Man, I'm sorry, but this sucks for all of us. I mean, Caitlin's going to be like the living dead for the next few weeks, and Mitchie has officially started the 'Kill Nate' coalition. And we have to deal with it right along with ya."

"NOT helping, Shane. Look, Nate…you made a mistake, everyone does. Give her a few days to cool off…act like it never happened maybe. When she's least expecting it, go into her room and play the song for her. Be romantic about it. At this point, I don't know if she'll be able to accept your feelings or whatever and have a relationship…but at least she'll know."

Jason always knew what to say. He was that big brother I always went to when I had a problem. No one gave him enough credit…he gave incredible advice if anyone would ever see him as anything but the flighty member of Connect 3.

"I just…I feel like shit. I just hurt the one person I actually saw was genuine about her intentions and that I could see myself with. I don't even know what to do right now. I want to go in there and make her feel better but I can't because I'm that jackass whose ass I'd want to kick. I just…I can't believe how completely STUPID I am!" I heard Mitchie's voice from the hallway..I guess she gave up comforting Caitlin for a few minutes to verbally abuse my stupidity some more.

"Jason, she wants you." She sighed, a lot calmer than I thought she was going to be. Shane tried to grab her hand to have her sit near him, but she jolted hers away. I could see it was going to be a long night. I braced myself for the worst and let her stand in front of me, screaming down.

"SHE'S IN THERE CRYING HER EYES OUT BECAUSE OF THE ASSHOLE ON THIS BUS THAT COULDN'T FORM SENTENCES TO JUST TELL HER WHAT HAS BEEN SO OBVIOUSLY ON HER MIND FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS. THAT MAKES _**ME**_ FEEL SHITTIER THAN IT MAKES YOU! AND DO YOU KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LIKED HER, NATE! YOU TOLD ME AND THEN YOU MESSED IT UP. AND I CAN'T EVEN TELL MY _BEST. FRIEND. _BECAUSE SHE'LL THINK I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. THANKS!"

Wow. That girl could _scream! _I silently wondered if she could hear Mitchie's outburst from her room…the bus wasn't THAT big after all…

She sighed, seeing my silent question. "She's too upset, Nate. She's blocked out everything…all she kept saying was, 'I can't talk to you, Mitch. Jason…I want Jason….' It made me feel like the worst person on earth that I couldn't even comfort my best friend…that she wouldn't talk to me because she thought I would tell Shane…she didn't have to say it, I knew that's what she meant."

Once again, I was completely speechless. "I'm…sorry, Mitchie. I froze…I feel like the worst person on earth. If I could do anything right now to change this…I would. I would give up everything to make her feel better. And the worst feeling is knowing I'm the reason she's crying…" I felt random tears beginning to form in my eyes. I forced them back…I won't let any one see me cry.

While I was talking, I saw her look at Shane…they were having this silent conversation just between the two of them, you could tell they were deeply in love. She sat down next to him, holding his hand, but breaking his gaze to speak.

"Give her time. I think…I think if you play your cards right she'll forgive you. But for now, she's too upset. She's fought for so long not to tell you because she thought your reaction was going to be like this…Jason gave her false hope in her mind I think. All she's ever wanted was for you to look at her the way Shane looks at me."

Way to put the nail in the coffin, Mitchie. I sat there completely silent, enveloped in my thoughts for what seemed like hours, but was probably only 20 minutes, when I heard a door close. I silently hoped it was Caitlin and was disappointed when it was Jason.

"She's not coming out anytime soon. Mitchie, she asked me if you would mind bringing meals into her. She said she'll come out to go to the bathroom, but only if Nate is nowhere in sight…Bro, she's really upset over this."

I made my decision after I heard Jason's words. If Caitlin wouldn't come out of her room…I would do everything in my power for her to know I was there…that I didn't hate her. That she was the girl. I grabbed my guitar and a beanbag chair and walked to the back of the bus. Dropping the chair next to Caitlin's door, I sat down. I made a conscious decision to play the same verse over and over until she understood. I wouldn't sleep…if her meals were going to be brought to her room, mine would have to be brought here. I wasn't moving, except for when I had to perform with Connect 3. I began to strum the chords to the song I had in mind, and sang.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you,  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through,  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one that catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear…_

I sang throughout the night, always the same words. I knew how vulnerable I sounded, but at the moment I didn't really care. I had to make Caitlin see she was the one that I wanted…that I never meant to hurt her.


	5. Chapter 5

I know this chapter is INSANELY short, but I needed a filler chapter. I PROMISE a longer chapter for chapter 6…and some more Nate POV, because I really enjoyed writing from his perspective. I'm not that proud of this chapter...it's definitely far from my best work. I was re-reading New Moon by Stephenie Meyer (from the Twilight series) and the paragraph from Bella after Edward leaves just inspired me. It was perfect for the scene.

And as for the song at the end of Chapter 4, it's called The Reason and it's by Hoobastank. It was popular in like 2003 or 4 I think, but I still adore it, and the lyrics lent themselves perfectly to the situation Nate got himself into. (Stupid boy!)

**CHAPTER 5**

**CAITLIN**

I don't think I've ever read more in my life than I have this past week. Four books in five days? Yeah, I kind of became a bookworm. And I felt like a monk…except a depressed, mopey monk. I barely spoke to anyone when they brought my meals to me. When I woke up this morning, I decided today would be different. I thought if I talked to someone a little bit, maybe the stupid singing would stop. That stupid singing from that stupid boy…what was ever so special about him anyway? Oh yeah…now I remember…everything is special about him. That was enough to start the waterworks again, I was growing accustomed to them I think.

I guess Jason heard me, or maybe it was just lunchtime, but I heard the door open and a tray full of food, him following. Hm, it must have been his turn…Mitchie, Shane and him had been alternating Nate/Caitlin duties.

"No change today, Cait..huh?" He sounded upset…I think they were hoping I would be feeling better by now.

"No, I was feeling better before…I just…I want the singing to stop. It makes me think about him and then I try to tell myself how horrible he is and how I don't need that…and then I remember how I'm just lying to myself. And I cry again."

"He's trying, Caitlin…in his own Nate way, he's trying…he cares, and he's so upset with himself that he hurt you. He just wants you to give him a chance to talk, explain his part of the story…don't you think he at least deserves that? And plus, if you let him talk to you, he'll probably stop the singing…"

He kind of sung the last part himself, as if that was the best part of the deal. I realized I wasn't the only one sick of the same 5 or 6 lines over and over again. I thought it over quickly, and sighed once I made up my mind.

"I'll give him a chance to talk. I can't promise I'll listen, but he can talk. Just…tonight. Like, late tonight after the concert…and only if he doesn't suck…tell him that. When the bus starts moving again after the concert, he can come in and see me, and I'll hear him out. I promise I won't yell at him, but I'll hear him out." Jason smiled, and then enveloped me in the largest bear hug ever.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST CAITLIN! HE'LL BE SO HAPPY!!"

"You're um, welcome. But Jason? You're sort of hurting me. And can you leave now? I want some time to think and kind of mentally prep myself before tonight…"

"Of course, Caitlin! I'll send Mitchie in for dinner." Getting up, he smiled and left, shutting the door behind him.

Once he left, I began crying again, this time silently. I can't believe I agreed to talk to Nate. I didn't know what I would say, how I would react. I was still so upset with him…because of him…the lines had blurred a few days back. It was like a hole…I couldn't fill it yet...and this tour bus did nothing to help that. Finding a new guy when you're in a different city every night isn't the easiest of tasks…actually, it's kind of Herculean.

I snuggled up into my bed, forgetting my food, and opened my book to the page I had left off of last night. I had read this paragraph every day since I first picked up the book, it was perfect to my mood…the book was perfect for my mood, Bella understood. I mean, Edward was as big of an ass as Nate was…but at least Nate didn't lead me on by being my boyfriend and then leave…but it was just as bad. Oh well...

I read the paragraph aloud, searching for some hidden meaning I may not have gotten already.

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me." I sighed. Time would pass, I was sure of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it's been forever since I've uploaded a new chapter, but I've been beyond busy with getting ready for college and working. Today was really rough; there was a real bad car accident really early this morning, two died and four were injured. Of those six, I knew 4, three that were injured and one that died. I wasn't that close to any of them, thank God, but it was definitely still a blow. So just keep everyone and their families in your prayers, I'm sure they'd really appreciate it.

Okay, now information about the story: Like a lot of the reviewers, I was really upset with how Chapter 5 turned out, but I needed filler. It wasn't well written on my part and I absolutely HATED how Caitlin acted because if anyone I knew had acted like that, I would be so mad at them. However, I kind of needed it because otherwise it was going to be: she's mad at Nate. Nate apologizes. They get back together. The end. I wanted to make the story last more than 5 chapters, it probably wasn't the best way of doing that, but it's written so I'm not going to change it. And, you probably won't get many updates once I get to school, maybe one a week if that..sorry!

**Chapter 6: NATE**

I felt bad for hurting Caitlin like I did and I kept singing to prove that I was sorry, but really? This was getting a little ridiculous. My fingers were raw from my guitar, more so than usual, and if I kept singing like this, I wouldn't have a voice left for the next concert. I was fairly sure that "Nate lost his voice singing to the girl he spurned" was not going to go well with the concert promoters and our manager as far as excuses were concerned.

About a week in, I abandoned my post completely, only going back once every morning to sing…kind of my way of letting her know that I was still alive, that the world was still turning, blah blah blah. Damn, this girl definitely won the best grudge award. I had finished my morning song and walked over to the couch to watch some cartoons. Shane and Mitchie were cuddling on the couch across from me; I guessed it was Jason's turn to bring her meals. When I heard a door open, I looked up, kind of hoping it was Caitlin, but was slightly disappointed when I only saw Jason.

Speaking of Jason, he was probably the only person on this bus that still had a good amount of patience with Caitlin; she seemed to talk to him the most of the three. Shane was fairly open about his lack of sympathy for what he called "Caitlin's woe is me holiday". Every time his turn came around to bring meals, he was openly hostile towards Caitlin and gave her a slightly extreme case of the silent treatment, only opening the door enough to slide the tray through. It was pretty childish, but then again, Caitlin was being childish as well.

The cartoon I was watching had ended; so I absent-mindedly changed the channel on the TV, until a slightly ludicrous MTV reality show appeared. It was laughable how eager these girls were to go on a date with some stranger, but it was entertainment enough I supposed. I silently wondered where Jason was, before figuring out he was probably in his room reading up on some bird on the Internet or something…I made a mental note to help him find a new hobby. I feigned interest in the show, but I was really just eavesdropping on Mitchie and Shane's not-so-subtle conversation about Caitlin's current hermit patterns of living.

"Mitch," he whined. It was the easiest way for him to get his way with her. "I'm so sick of it. She's acting like she's the only person to ever have been rejected…which technically she wasn't. And it's not Nate's fault that he choked, either. He wasn't even that mean about it anyway…I don't see why she's so…sad…over it." Mitchie laughed. Shane had the emotional range of a teaspoon with everyone but her.

"Babe, I know. I'm honestly kind of sick of it myself, but she's my best friend. She was there for me when a certain jerk I know…" she tapped his nose lightly with her index finger, gazing up at him and smiling through her words. It took a strong stomach to watch them sometimes. "…Wouldn't even give me the time to explain my side of a story. I just hate that she's completely oblivious that he likes her just as much as she likes him…"

"Well, we could just play match maker and solve this stupid bus drama..."

"No, Shane. They have to work this out on their own. I'm not getting involved in anyone's love life but my own. Plus, if we were scheming to get them together, that would leave less time for us…and I just love every minute I spend with you." Please, if someone could just gag me now at the sappiness of her words, I'd probably be happy.

Finally, I heard footsteps come behind me, and Jason sat down on the couch I was seated at. Someone I could talk to, even if it would be about Caitlin.

"How is she doing today?" I was a little concerned I'll admit. I mean, I was the one that hurt her. Plus, I didn't want her to pull a Romeo and Juliet and kill herself or anything…that would just be stupid.

"She seems better, still upset though, still crying sometimes. I think she's kind of mad at you now though. It's hard to see her upset; I want to like, cry with her or something. Anyway. We were talking and…" he made a dramatic pause and made a drum roll sound on his lap. "…She's going to talk to you! After the concert tonight!" He looked so pleased with himself that he was able to get some sort of progress with her. After the concert was a good…6 hours from now.

My frustrations with Caitlin finally surfaced. What was the damn difference if she talked to me before or after the concert? Was it all some sort of scheme to make me too tired to actually talk!? She wasn't going to win this battle. I got up abruptly from the couch and began to walk towards her door at the back of the bus. Jason quickly ran after me and grabbed my arm.

"What are you doing!? She needs time! Don't go in there mad, man, you'll regret it." I pulled my arm away from him.

"Don't. Tell me what to do, Jason." I spat. "I've given her a week and I think I've been pretty damn sympathetic and patient with her. It's not my fault she's acting like a goddamn martyr! I'm sick of being concerned if she's just going to act like this, it's completely stupid!"

I guess I was pretty loud because Shane and Mitchie were staring at me in disbelief…Well, to be fair, Shane was laughing and Mitchie was looking in disbelief. When I turned around towards Caitlin's door, Caitlin was standing in the door frame staring at me. I was at a loss for words, I hadn't even heard the door open. I looked into her eyes. The familiar hazel showed a mix of hurt and rage, like I was Tess Tyler's twin brother come to torture her or something. We both stared at each other for a while, before she broke the silence.

"My room. Now." Her voice perfectly mirrored the emotions her eyes reflected. I obeyed, a little afraid of the tone in her voice, and walked into her room. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still frustrated with her a little. I was expecting a shit show similar to Mitchie's, but instead, she sat on her bed and glared at me.

"Say what you need to say, Nate, then maybe I'll talk." Well, that was certainly a surprise. Once again, I didn't really know what to say to her.

"I wasn't going to wait until after the concert when I'm going to be dead tired to talk to you. I've been waiting patiently for a week. But I'm beginning to think it was your plan." She continued to glare. I realized this 'discussion' was really going to be a monologue. I sighed and just continued.

"Look, Cait, you're acting like you're the only person to ever be hurt, but did you even think about the other side? How upset I was with myself for hurting you? Come on, Gellar, you know me better than that. You know I always look at the interests of everyone around me as well as my own." Her gaze softened a little, but now she wouldn't look at me. Her gaze was focused on the wall behind me. I continued my impromptu speech.

"I've been torturing myself for a week for doing that to you, because it honestly hurt me, too. Remember when we played 21 questions and I told you I liked someone? Of course you do. Well, Cait, I was talking about you. I had this whole romantic plan where I was going to play you a song and tell you and then ask you out or something, and then you went and surprised me like that. I didn't know what to do. So I left. I figured a little bit of time would help me clear my head and collect the thousands of thoughts scrambling through my head. When I finally thought about what I said and realized how big of an idiot I had been, it was too late. That's when I started singing that song to you. I thought that maybe you would listen and realize it was how I thought I should apologize—the way I thought would work the best. My answer was never meant to hurt you, Cait. I never meant to hurt you because I never wanted to hurt you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still like you. I mean, sure I'm mad now, but that's only because you've been so thickheaded. I just wanted to explain and you wouldn't give me the time of day. Just imagine how hard that was for me. And then you were acting childish and Jason was talking to you and I had to deal with Mitchie and Shane all by myself. It's been hard without you around, Cait. I got used to you."

My tone had softened considerably by the end of my specch, as had the look in her eyes. They had gone from that look of hurt and rage to a more vulnerable and lost state. She was still silent, and she still stared at the wall, but she began to speak, her voice soft, almost a whisper.

"That song you were writing when I said I wanted to talk…that was the song you were writing for me?"

"Yes. It's done now."

"Do you think I could hear it sometime?"

"Of course, it's meant for your ears and your ears only."

"Do you think you could ever forgive me? For being so dumb…for…acting like an idiot? Because I did, Nate. I was so upset that you didn't like me because I've liked you for so long. I just…I guess I overreacted."

"You definitely did. I just…I almost wish you didn't tell me so I could have surprised you…I just, now I don't know what to do. I forgive you, of course I do, but I can't forget about it. It's been a bad week, Caity."

"Caity?"

"Do you mind if I call you that? I don't really know where it came from, I kind of just..blurted it out there."

"No, I like it. But only from you. And only if I can call you Natey."

"Fine. It's a deal. Even though I hate that nickname more than anything." She laughed, and I joined in. A thought clicked in my head. Why would I wait any longer?

"Cait, I'll be back in two seconds, I promise." I ran out of the room and grabbed my guitar.

I had waited long enough to sing this song to her. Carpe Diem, right? I began strumming the chords to her softly, sitting next to her on her bed, my eyes focused only on her.

**A/N: **Okay, I'm considering ending in there because I know I'll be busy when school starts. There may be a few more chapters, and I'm beginning a new story now, but it definitely won't be up for a while, if ever. It depends how it turns out. As for this chapter, I definitely prefer writing from Nate's perspective, so the rest might be from his…I like how he's slightly sarcastic but he's still caring. Something like how I wanted Caitlin to be before I had to stretch the story and started hating writing her character (haha)


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